Why aren't we the best?

So many persons have planned and projected that they will be the Best in whatever they do in this new year. Maybe its because persons see the move from one year to another as the ending of one chapter and preparing to enter a new chapter. However it boggles the mind at times as to why one should wait until the end of one year, since if you look carefully at it, each day is the dawn of a new era/chapter. I would even suggest that waiting until the end of a year can be a daunting task since there has been the accumulation of both good and bad, and, the thought of sifting through this entire matter may appear impossible.

This now supports a point where someone can be the best in their character. There was some years back a caribbean company which looked at and had as their slogan "Being the Best". This focused on the internal relationships moving to a state of world class which would have spilled over into the external relationships. However during the process, the company undertook to do one massive campaign from branding to staff meetings and interest groups and sessions to think-tanks. Of course this was not sustainable, and what eventually happened was that persons eventually returned to their old ways of relating. My suggestion in such a case would have been to reverse the channel taken and start out as a spark. This spark having a ripple on effect from a project lead who then would have had the opportunity to encourage other staff to get on the band-wagon. Of course this change management person would have to have a strong character and have the drive to succeed. Once they stoke the flame of change and encouraging the persons to be the best that they can be, it would be very rewarding and the objective of creating a better relationship would have occurred.

Naturally - this writer should not have to tell you that you need to be the best that you can be, you know it, we know it, everyone else knows it. Why then aren't we the best?

I can think of at least two ways, and i'm sure you can find a few more:

1) The will to be the best has dried up.

Its like someone with a creative talent, who does not follow their dream or at least feed their passion. When a creative artist works another job, and stays in that job without feeding their desire to be creative, they lose the muse of inspiration as evoked in Shakespeare's - Henry V, "O for a muse of fire that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention..." As a human being, one has to be inspired to be the best, they may gain this by either the end result of their contribution or the challenge to get going. If either one of these are not met, eventually the drive to be the best can become a drudgery.

2) Laziness.

I say nothing more - since I believe this speaks for itself.

So, let us daily look at how we can be the best in the present tense, since this is the only guaranteed time which we have.

Impossible + ( ' ) = I'm Possible

Did you ever notice that "Impossible" and "I'm Possible" have practically the same spelling? I didn't realise this fact until recently while conversing with my wife, she was supporting an idea which we were discussing, and it ended where I said..."initially this idea may have been considered impossible, and she suggested that is was no longer impossible but I'm possible..."

Before going further - I believe everyone understands what is meant by impossible...that is - it just will not or cannot be seen to happen (whatever that may be). Conversely, I'm possible should already conjure the image of potential enery and the idea of "I AM Possible", that force/capability to be able to achieve whatever one has set as a goal.

In addition, we'll be using the formula below:

{Impossible} + ( ' ) = I'm Possible

Looking at this formulae, you have to have therefore some idea of where you are going to end or at least what goal you would like to achieve. This all begins with a thought. Now following the equation, Impossible is not the position that we want to be in, and we need to ask ourselves not necessarily how did we get into that position but how are we going to get out. Careful planning and thinking is needed, as even though you may want to leave quickly, one has to do so deliberately and armed with as much information in their roadmap as possible. It may also be useful to note the settings or conditions of your current state of impossible, as this may be useful markers and testament when you tell others where you started. In the initial condition or state, there is the sensation of overwhelming dread and also fatigue which will arise. What one has to do at this point in time is to dig in, but this more that likely will feel like your last surge of energy. One has to remember what the trigger was, that made you decide that you will climb out of your perceived impossible state. Therefore, this last surge must be focusedm, like when you focus the sun's rays through a magnifying glass.

You may need some support - here goes, taken from the lyricist Joe Darion "...To dream ... the impossible dream ...To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...To run ... where the brave dare not go ..." and furthermore I have included this video clip by Honda - which many vote as the "best Honda commercial"...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB_1gPRCLCo and this clip best sums up the movement we want to achieve especially the suspence at the end.

Now onto the 2nd part of the formula:

The ( ' ) can represent that hope or the high ideals that we can aspire, as it is "suspended" overhead. Therefore we need to extend our reach and grow in our maturity to focus on leaving our current state by doing or reaching for something. Now if we remember previously that we said its like the last surge of focused energy, therfore we are so convinced within our minds first that we are leaving our impossible and heading on the new direction that even the rest of our body aids us in getting there. Trust me - it happens and it works, mind first -> signal to neurons in the brain that we are bout to act -> chemical reaction started -> muscles equiped with necessary torque -> brain signals -> ACTION. Can you imagine that all of this is held in this one symbol ( ' ) ? If you can then you are well on your way. Now once in action, we place the ( ' ) into position where you add it to impossible. If you realise that this little symbol has now changed the entire meaning of impossible to the exact opposite.

Impossible: Not possible, unable to be, incapable

I'm Possible: Acheivable, tenable, imaginable

So, walk with me - rather let's persevere in our equation and work towards possible.

Push 1, 2, 3...

One of my contemporaries, who has recently been going no where in the course which she mapped but rather spinning in the mud needed someone like a huge JCB tractor to push them out of the sandpit and onto the greens. If you are familiar with the game of golf, sometimes you take your stroke with the 7-iron and all the factors are just right to land either in the hole or just shy of it. However the gust of wind which you didn't expect or the topography of the turf, sees your golf ball landing in the middle of the sand pit. What do you do? Some persons take the ball up and place it on the edge of the pit and forfeit a point/stroke while others just dig in and blast that ball out of the pit with the club.

In other words, like one success coach stated: Sometimes, one nudge in the proper direction is all one needs to breakthrough!

The trouble is sometimes while in the sandpit just stuggling, the person who has to come and nudge you out of your spot should ultimately be stronger, or, both individuals must be willing to put their minds together and get out. Of course, there are a few things which have to be on the checklist. These include:

1) The person in the pit recognising their current position of "distress".
So often, you believe that the person realises that they are just spinning in the sandpit, but at times they do not know. You as an external entity, should highlight to the individual their current position. Warning!!! This is not always an easy task, since there will be the initial barrier from the individuals and then breaking the ice. In addition to this, there is the possibility of depression setting in from the "sandpit" individual since nothing seems now to be going right. Be mindful that this is a state of mind that can present its challenges, this is why I've suggested having as open an attitude as possible.

2) An open attitude - to accepting someone coming along and nudge you out!
Of course it must be noted that the person coming along should also have an open attitude, as no one says that it will be easy. Even though the end result should be to get back on track, attitude makes a huge difference. If you doubt me - when you go to your next show look for the attitude.
When the performer leave the wings of the stage and move centre stage they know that the audience is focused on their every move. They walk slowly and with a purpose, maybe even a slight smirk to the audience to give a warm sensation. As soon as they reach the microphone, all of the energy bottled in the attitude bursts out and infuses the audience.
Similarly - the attitude of both parties should be "expectant" and looking forward to achieving the end result. I would even suggest that each progress and landmark should be celebrated such that it plants permanently in the psyche that you have moved, and forces you to keep moving since you'll be "rewarded" at the next landmark. Overtime seeing your progress helps make the job effortless or should I say - equip you with strength to gain momentum.

Conversely avoid persons with horrible/negative attitudes...for obvious reasons, you'll be wealthier for it.

3) The willingness to leave the sandpit.

So - like the heading says, Push - on my count: one, two, three...

Disability of inability

The disability of inability seems so easy to chat about, but we will still take a look at this matter. When defined, disability means a lack of adequate power, strength, or physical or mental ability; an incapacity. In defining inability, this may be seen also as a lack of power capacity or means. One may want to argue that this is a circular type of reasoning more of a "catch 22", but if you look at the perspective that one may lead to the other then the circular reasoning may be dispelled.

So often when you wonder why persons are not acheiving or reaching their optimum balance it may be suggested that it is as a result of them miscalculating their true potential. Conversely, taking a snap shot of all of those persons who have visible/known disabilities and how they have moved beyond that form of limited capacity to exercise huge feats, it proves that the disability cannot be the inability to achieve. Immediately coming to mind was the example of Stevie Wonder, who did not and has not let his disability lead to inability. More focused on the point is that mentally we have to overcome the mere thought of inability. Just allowing a thought of inability to lodge leads to disability.

We can convince ourselves so easily that we are unable to be a better person, that we are unable to be successful, that we are unable to take charge of our destiny and head towards that goal. Subsequently the acceptance of our inability to be what we are called to be, makes us disabled. We then look for a pity party as to why we can be no better, and why the formulae to reach our true potential cannot work and we want all and sundry to cry with us.
"BAHH Hum-bug"

Look at the effort needed to overcome an specific obstacle as the stepping stone to grow. We are unable to acheive if we think so, but the moment that we change our thought process, we have stopped being disabled. It should not stop there, our efforts should then in one form or another look to assist someone else. Now that you have recognised that your acheiving can help someone and teach someone else to achieve, you have the effect to influence - use it!

LibeRato

Here I was at a piano recital recently and realised that this whole thing was so uninspiring, that it made me wander, mentally - that is... All kinds of thoughts and reasonings and supposings and such like. It was during the intermission that a former school mate came over and said this concert was oh so "nice" and I said well not really. It was after my response that she said - you know, my mind was wandering about architecture and landscapes and all that stuff.

Now I highlight this scenario since, so often when you ask someone "how's everything?" and they say "all is fine" the truth is, its a facade. We go around with our facades (not that it is bad), but here it is - we've bottled up and plastered on our public what a composed individual we are, when this isn't true. Sometimes - it helps to just let it fall out, not wear the facade and be yourself. This I must say is totally opposite to what we normally do. We hide, we shun, we make our true state obscure. Sometimes this is good, and then again, when you show your real self you become even further human. Have you ever noticed that at death nothing is hidden?
Similarly - our best state is while we sleep to see the real person. During this state of rest - we cannot pretend to be fine and dandy, we cannot hide any expressions, even scientifically, the real emotion comes to surface, while we dream.

Here's a suggestion:
Find someone at one of these extremes - Either very close to you or a perfect stranger.
Tell them one thing you'd like to change/improve about yourself...

The result?
You'll feel better about telling them - since whether they pass judgement or not you'll feel liberated.
Try it...

Losing is good

I'm sure that you don't have to be reminded what it feels like to lose...However life, and circumstances cannot help us at times and we are unable to win. There are those times when we've gotten so arrogant and pompous that we forget what it is that helped us get into our successful position I therefore say - Kudos for losing. When we lose, it should easily hit us that either we've not prepared properly, or we over anticipated what we had hoped our result would have been. It may be also understood that when you lose, there may be some lesson in there for us to learn, whether that lesson is how to plan better next time, how to deal with losing, how to use the loss and a motivational tool to overcome the next step.

Maybe this is over the top, lets look at an example, your favourite cricket team runs into the stadium and it is the home turf. Immediately as they all appear this is an uproar in the stadium with all of those home fans. Of course the visiting team gets a welcome as well but not as enthusiastic. So the games begin and each time the home team gets the lead the visitors seem to have the key to get a come-back. As it gets closer to the finish the fans cheer on, supporting the home team, the pressure builds, the flags raise and there is the sure victory. Then by some element of surprise as if knowing the home team's strategy, the visitors clench the game and everyone else is disappointed that the home team loses. What does that feel like?

I say in this case, this should drive the homeboys to go back to the drawing board. Or moreso like an exerpt I saw recently... "Overnight Success - Those that want strong and healthy teeth tomorrow should brush their teeth very well today, successful people work while others rest, they study while others sleep, they take action while others observe..."(read more) We all know that there is the need to celebrate our victories but then we may go overboard and a recent loss wakes us out of our slumber. Back to the homeboys losing the cricket game, the guys may be tempted to go around blaming everyone and everything for our loss. We know how true it is, now imagine how it feels to lose US$6 Million, whether its money or a game or a competition the first thing we should look at is ourselves and how effective was our calculated approach.

Anyway - when you lose one should:

a) Forget about who you think is to be blamed and work on improving next time. Remember the time spent on the blame game could be used to move you to your lesson or next goal faster.

b) Admit the loss, and admit you want to win

c) Plan to win next time, feel the victory and stealthily work towards it. Even if you don't tell everyone what your next step is (which is sometimes a good thing) work feverishly on it.

d) Losing does not mean that you are a failure. You become a failure if you give up.

e) Share with someone who loses your path to overcoming the loss and how to get back into winning. They'll thank you for it later, maybe losing wasn't only for you to learn something but to share the experience with someone else...Do Not Be Selfish.

Here's a quote, some of you may know...
Second Place is the First Loser...

Six Inch Heel

I was recently admiring a young lady and the six inches of heels which she wore. At that point in time she is standing in one position and more or less remained in a very classy poise. This as I commented was the ultimate in grace and form. Then, there came the point in time where she had to move from this position and leave the establishment. Of course as mentioned before the heels look like six or seven inches and did this lady wobble across the floor, as she made her way to the door.

It was this which prompted me to write about the six inch heel, since out of this scenario can be derived two types of personalities. The two characters would be: 1) The person who is comfortable and shows the comfort in what they do; and 2) The person who trys to be comfortable and wobbles to make themselves appear comfortable. Lets look at them both.

1) When a lady, is comfortable in her six inch heel, she stands tall, she seems confident and her walk is as if she glides across the room, all the while making everything look effortless. Similarly, as you come into a position of decision making you should be comfortable enough to stand tall work up the confidence and deliver. Note that leaders as per a previous post, exude confidence that literally forces the group to follow. As our model walks around, she knows that there are eyes on her and that there are persons ooohing and aaahing about the shoes, and even though we do not like it, the leader will also get that oooh and aah.

2) Conversely there are those who try to be comfortable, but they seem to make a mess of how they walk and there is the ultimate fear that they may also trip. Need I say that they air of grace and control seems to lack and they stumble towards you as you brace for their presence. There are those leaders who hobble along the path. Sometimes that leader is us (you & me), trying to get comfortable with those around us and forgetting that we should practise being comfortable with ourselves first. Then, rather than practising on the 2-inch heel we want to jump straight to the heavy rollers, not learning the lessons of progression. In addition, the position of decision making becomes littered with indecision and blunders and then the masses lose confidence in you as an inspiration. Remember, when you go to vote, you have an image of a strong individual as you cast your ballot, not someone who bumbles along.

So, let us make it a point to ensure that our lives and the current position which we hold, we become comfortable in them first before moving onto the next level. Do not forget to draw on those resources around us, to which we must learn from, as well as when making a decision, be positive that this is the best possible choice made under the current circumstances. Note the high society persons have image consultants who work on keeping up the good appearance of the client. You can use those around you to assist in your positive image and ensuring a confident look is achieved.

Photo credit: http://www.sahras-heels.com

Its like Magic in 3 Steps

I've been involved in a group project recently, and I believe that there is always some kind of lesson to learn. One of the many which struck me was that, there is a certain magic which a leader must have in order to inspire the rest to follow. Coming to terms with this can be a bit of a jolt at times, since you as a leader must also be inspired in order to inspire, and everyone knows that everyday our feel or mood isn't one which is in the motivating stretch. In fact a leader has to look for ways to be motivated in order to share that magic.

One individual said to me, that there are so many persons out there who, struggle to lead their teams. They have all of the information to share, and the ideas to implement, but they somehow do not have the magic to get the team to run with the idea. There are a few of the things which made good leaders better, a leader has to:

A good leader has to

1) Get into the mind of his supporters
It may seem easy enough to do, but unless you can capture the imagination of the people then to get into their minds may be a bit difficult. In order to get into the minds, you have to have a strong sense of belonging and a good sense of direction. Not too arrogant but know how to move the masses. The entire person/leader has to be transformed; the body language must say “I am comfortable with myself...” Now that you are comfortable, you must also see yourself as the leader but not arrogant. Remember you are now getting into the psyche of your supporters, and being full of yourself will not win the masses. Your character must be one which persons recognise as acceptable, and you must be trustworthy.

2) Inspire the thought process of the group
What inspires you?
Now try to put yourselves into their shoes and see yourself being inspired and you should be able to translate. This should then give-way to your sharing of some sort of inspiration, which you can pass on to the group. It does not necessarily have to be the same things that inspire you but you should look to inspire your group. You’ll know when they have found it, since they will tell you either in action or in words, you will see it. Take time out to meet with them as individuals and also meet them collectively, show that you are the right person in the position, and that you are also human at times. Give them a good word...

3) Find a way into the hearts of the group being led
Notice how the cult leader works, they do exactly this step above and it somehow becomes magical. The group then supports the leader’s motives and objectives and each time there seems to be a usurping of authority the leader steps in and somehow weaves his magic. This tugs at the emotions, and there are times when the leader has to have that heart to heart. In addition you have to be sincere, if not, persons will easily see through the image projected.

Now, who says that this can’t be done for a good purpose? Without those three steps it’s flaccid.

Photo credit: "Static Ball Remix" http://www.brockadam.net

New Driver in the House

I've decided to stay on the driving topic again....

Sometimes when one has recently passed their driving examination and now have the full license to drive solo, there is a certain feel of power in their hands. This may be heavily based on the psycological position of the individual. There is the immediate desire to rush down the highway at top speed and throw caution to the wind since one feels invincible. In chatting with some new found friends recently, there was two sides of this coin.

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In one instance one person had just gotten their license. This individual somehow slammed into everything in sight, and the neighbours were so afraid to park their vehicles nearby for fear of damage which may be sustained to their own vehicles. This is so similar to how we handle life and also success on our own. Somehow we have to stuggle to work out how to navigate against the coffee machine guy in the office or the secretary who spreads your personal business, or even the group leader who is sometimes so full of themselves. How do you handle these people?
Easy, you take your time, think first and speak afterwards, and, respond only when necessary.

Note, most of the times, no one recognises when you've screwed on the handle on the door or replaced a dull lightbulb, because they may be the little things but you know what! Those things are also very important.

There are leaders who believe that they are the kings and queens of the roost. I always try to encourage them to change their thinking. Here's why - without a vehicle, you are no longer a driver but a pedestrian, just an ordinary person. Likewise, without a group to lead then who are you? Many times the leader in their pompous attitude unwittingly destroys this group unwittingly.

What a leader must recognise is that there are all sorts of persons who compose the group. There are the spark plugs of the groupd and the handrests as well - that is various roles. If you do not know group dynamics then your driving skills are shot. I also believe a good leader can say to the group, I do not know, but i'll find out, or easily delegate to another member. It is also okay for the leader to sit in the passenger seat at times and experience what his passengers are feeling in the ride.

See you next time...

Opportunity Knocked

When something like this (opportunity knocking) happens to so many of us, rather than accepting and grabbing the opportunity we sit there and wait, so much so that it moves from opportunity knocks to opportunity has knocked and flown. There are several emails which we can see or which we receive on a daily basis telling us to either add your name and forward to ten friends or reply and see what happens, and, do you know what? Quite a few persons follow the instructions...However then the opportunity is knocking we sit there, have a cup of tea and wait for it to leave.

What is not right though is that after letting the opportunity fly away we labour over the next person who answered the call, and we become quite upset that they seized the moment. Funny how we think opportunity will pull up in a stretch limo and serve us chill rose blush. Sometimes it might but most of the time it probably won’t, since it may be suggested that we have to seek out the opportunity in the circumstances, and be prepared to run/walk/fly when it turns up. So many times we want the opportunity to turn up and when it does we are not prepared to move with it, but what may be said is that this should teach us to be organized for the next one.

Given that this is titled, opportunity knocked, as was alluded to earlier, we still have to go and look for the prospect in whatever circumstance which we may be facing. It may be noted that never mind whatever dumps we may be in, we can find the ladder out of it, or at least use the dump to make a platform to climb out. I dare say that you may be very lazy and no one will tell you this because they want to be your friend, and prefer if you stay in the same sludge. Stop making excuses to stay in the same circumstance! In speaking with persons about the world of online opportunities to make an impact they get excited, then two weeks later nothing comes out of the initiative, only very few and talented persons carpe diem. Beware of those who always agree with you, for they will not point out when an opportunity has arisen for your own self development nor will they support you in your quest for progress, conversely beware of those who are supper supportive. “Who the cap fits, let him wear it...” Bob Marley.

Moreover there is no time like the present; the only individual who does not get an opportunity is the one who would have pass away. The Caribbean is probably one of those few regions where, persons who believe that once they have reached 50 years of age it is now the end of the road. Changing this thought process may take generations, but there is some change happening as slow as it may be, for it may be forecast that this current generation, looks to grab as many opportunities as they can and at whatever age in order to progress. Take a look at the Ackee tree found heavily in Jamaica, this grows and grows and every season it produces fruit without fail, as long as the flower is fertilised (opportunity) then the tree will produce the delicacy. Just imagine what would happen if the fertilisation process was missed a few times, a major economic industry would come to a halt. Similarly, do you know what impact that you are making when you grab the opportunity which presents itself?

Think about it...right now I am going to look for my next opportunity, I think that you should too, see you next time...

Photo credit: http://www.naturalsciences.org/education/treks/bluebird/pages/Knock-first.html